The newsies and the holy grail
by Oberon O'Neil
Summary: newsies meets monty python Do you think this works? please r&r and give me your thoughts :) thank you.
1. Default Chapter

OK i do not under any cercomstances, unless of course they would like to give them to   
  
me, do i own the newsies. Nore do i own half the dialog i am using b/c  
  
i am acutally mixing MOnty python and the holy grail with NEwsies. Excpet  
  
its not goin go happen in the same order as it did on the MPandTHG movie, so bear with  
  
me and tell me what you think.  
  
JD picks up the board the monks use to whack over their heads* Ooh cool whats this used  
  
for.  
  
Chris grins* here let me show you *takes it and hits JD over the head and he falls  
  
unconcious*  
  
*gives hima dirty look and he looks at me innocently shrugging * what i didnt hink  
  
his head was so soft.   
  
*i shake my head at him* go sit in the corner now.   
  
*he pouts an starts walking* CHris....*holds out hand, he turns and looks at me* what?  
  
Give me the board...*chris looks down at hte board and reluctantly hadns it over* party pooper  
  
*nods* thats right now go sit in the corner till i tell you to come out.  
  
now on with the story :)  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Skittery is walking down the street hawling a cart full of dead people and ringing  
  
a bell.   
  
"bring out yer dead" *rings the bell*  
  
"bring out yer dead, Ninepense" *rings bell*  
  
A few people pile some dead people on the cart. Spot and the brookelyn newsies   
  
walk by dressed as monks chantin some weird think and hit a board over their heads  
  
each time they say the chant.  
  
"bring out yer dead" *rings the bell*  
  
"BRING OUT yer dead"  
  
*rings the bell*  
  
Race comes out with snipeshooter over his shoulder.  
  
"ere i got one fore ya" race says.  
  
Skittery stops.   
  
"That'll be ninepense"  
  
"I'm not dead" snipeshooter said quietly.  
  
Skitter looks at Race.  
  
"what?"  
  
Race smiles.  
  
"nothing, heres your ninepense"  
  
"I'm not dead" Snipeshooter croaked louder.  
  
"whats that, 'e says hes not dead"  
  
"Yes he is"  
  
"no im not"  
  
Skittery is frowns.  
  
"hes not?"  
  
"He will be soon, Hes very ill"  
  
"I'm getin better!"  
  
Race hits snipeshooters leg.  
  
"Oh shut up you'll be stone dead in a few minutes"  
  
Skittery watches the exchange.  
  
"i cant take him like that, its against regulations"  
  
"I dont want to go in the cart" Snipeshooter whined.  
  
"shut up and stop being such a baby" Race growled.  
  
Skittery shakes his head.  
  
"I cant take him."  
  
"I feel fine, I think ill go for awalk" Snipeshooter says.  
  
"Eh you aint foolin nobody now shut up." Race looks at skittery. "well cant  
  
you wait a few minutes"  
  
"no i cant i have to get to Kloppmans, 'es lost nine today"  
  
"well whens yer next rounds"  
  
"Next wednesday"  
  
"He aint gonna last long, isnt ther something you can do?"  
  
SNipeshooter starts singin.  
  
"i feel happy, .... I feel happy."  
  
Race switches his weight to his other foot.   
  
Skittery looks around then takes his club and whacks snipeshooter over the head  
  
making him fall limp. Race grins and sets him in the cart handing Skittery the   
  
ninepense.  
  
"thank you very much"  
  
Skittery nods.  
  
"Not at all. See you on thursday"  
  
"right. All right."  
  
Jack comes gallopin by with Crutchy limping behind him beating two coconuts together  
  
so it sounds as if jack is really gallopin on a horse instead of faking it.  
  
Skittery and Race watch as they go by.  
  
"Whos that?"   
  
skittery shrugs.  
  
"I dunno, must be a king or something"  
  
"whys that?"  
  
Skittery srhugs again picking his cart up   
  
"well, He hasnt got shit all over 'im"  
  
________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Well what do you think? should i do more or not? i am leavin it up to you guys and what  
  
you tell me in your reviews? Please give me your input on it. 


	2. Swallows dont carry coconuts unless they...

 Jack rides up to a castle with crutchy banging the coconuts behind him.

**Jack stops alittle before the caslte.**

"Whoa there! "

Crutchy stops as if jack is woaing a real horse.

**Blink looks down at them adjusting his armour suit so he can lean over to get a better look.  He sets his sword aside.**

"Halt! Who goes there?" 

**Jack shields his eyes so he can see the soldier against the sun.**

"It is I, Jack, son of a man I don't know, from the castle of Manhatton. King of the Manhattons, defeater of the Queens, Sovereign of all New York! 

**Blink frowns eyeing Jack.**

"Bull, What about the other one!"

**Jack looks at crutchy then back at Blink.**

"I am,... and this is my trusty servant Crutchy. 

We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of Newsie Knights who will join me in my court at Manhatton. I must speak with your lord and master."

**Blink looks at him like he's crazy, taking in crutchy and the coconuts.**

"What? Ridden on a horse?"

**Jack nods.**

"Yes!"

**Blink shakes his head at him in disbelief.  _Was this guy nuts or what._**  He thought.

"You're using coconuts!"

**Jack frowns at him.**

"What?"

**Blink nods and points at crutchy.**

"You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together." 

**Jack shrugs looking at crutchy then turns back to Blink.**

"So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Queens, through—" 

**Blink cuts him off as if jack had never spoken.**

"Where'd you get the coconuts?"

**Jack raises a brow at him taken aback by the way he was talking to him.  He was king after all.**

"We found them." 

**Blink shakes his head in disbelief again.**

"Found them? In Queens? The coconut's tropical!" 

**Jack is now confused.  This guy has serious problems and he was getting sick of his deterring him from what he came to do.**

"What do you mean?"

**Blink gives him a look like *are you for real.**

"Well, this is a temperate zone."

**Jack is now very annoyed and says logically explains in an annoyed voice.**

"The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?"

**Blinks eyes widen.  ** 

"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"

** Jack shakes his head.**

"Not at all. They could be carried."

**Blink scoffs.**

"What? A swallow carrying a coconut? "

**Jack nods and answers logically again.**

"It could grip it by the husk!"

**Blink grins knowingly and shakes his head.**

"It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut." 

**Jack, not knowing what to say to that tries to get back to the original task at hand.**

"Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?"

**Blink wouldn't let him get off so easy.**

"Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?" 

**Jack was getting irate now.**

"Please!" 

**Blink ignores him.**

"Am I right?" 

**Jack stomps his foot.**

"I'm not interested!"

**Mush hearing what is going on pops out from behind the castle brick. ** 

"It could be carried by an African swallow!"

**Blink nods realizing how right Must was.**

 "Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point." 

**Mush grins glad he could help.**

"Oh, yeah, I agree with that."

**Jack Frowns and tries again to get back to what he came to do.**

"Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Manhattan?!"

**Blink not listening to Jack continues with Much trying to figure out the science of swallows and migrating coconuts.**

"But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory." 

**Mush nods.**

"Oh, yeah." 

**Blink nods figuring part of it out.**

"So, they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway." 

 **Jack frowns and turns around and heads off crutchy behind him clopping away with the coconuts.**

 **An Idea hits Mush. **

"Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together?"

**Blink not realizing they had lost their audience continues to argue with Mush.**

"No, they'd have to have it on a line." 

**Mush nods going with that idea.**

"Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!" 

**Blink shakes his head not seeing this as possible.**

"What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?" 

**Mush frowns.**

"Well, why not?" 


End file.
